How it all began - Nerds as a Commodity
...or "No I Will Not Fix Your Computer"...
Note: This is primarily aimed at the unwelcome side of computer troubleshooting - depending on the computer troubleshooter, close friends and family are usually counted as exceptions...
I've just returned, late at night, from fixing yet another 'computer problem' of a far distant family friend. <sarcasm>Technically it was an issue with their ADSL modem and line sync, but we're nerds aren't we? It's all the same thing!</sarcasm>
I really wish I had the guts to say "What about payment?", but... 'family friends'...
So how did I end up this way? What lead me to the path of technical support slavery? I've been thinking about it and there are answers - ones I think are likely common to most nerdkind.
It all began when you were a kid...
To be honest, I've only seen this slavery from the eyes of a member of Generation Y. How it is for Generation X or earlier I can't say I'm sure, but if you're a Gen-X slave contact me about it - addendums are quite welcome.
Our story shall begin with a young child. The child's parents have a computer, and over time the child and computer form a bond - a huggable lovable bond that keeps them warm at night. As computers penetrate more and more households, the parents suddenly realise that their child has a talent. Then comes that day when, whilst the child and parents are at a family friend's house, a glaring error hits the screen of the computer. The child walks towards the computer and instinctively start pumping in commands.
The second that child fixes the issue, their destiny is set...
It's no-one's fault really - all the intentions were good to begin with. The parents loved seeing their child be useful in a real world context, the family friend has their problem solved and the child is happy to be praised for what occurs naturally to them.
Everyone's happy, so what's the problem?
Sadly there are two main vectors for this act of charity to spiral out of control. Word of mouth and the parents.
- Parents - O(n) praise for O(1) work
The parents have just found a way to spread the fact that their child is talented, and each issue they get their child to help with is praise with absolutely (next to) no work on their part. - Word of Mouth - or "I know a guy" syndrome...
Like a wonder cure the child's existence and name is spread. Every time this person hears of a computer problem someone else has, they can gleefully gloat that they've got no problem at all - they know a guy!
Continue this process for a while and our poor little nerd is swamped...
And then on top of that...
The concept of money is foreign to all those asking for help. This is a result of two main things -
- At no point does the word 'money' occur in the parent's declarations or the word of mouth transactions.
- The 'customers' are sufficiently close to either attempt a guilt trip or to slide under the guise of close friends/family (ie, the people you can't or won't charge for)
- A common naive assumption that the child enjoys doing 'computery stuff' (which, unknown to them, doesn't usually involve troubleshooting for fun).
Responses from the Crowd
Passing this around to a few friends, many of them pointed out the fact they'd been stung by this kind of fly-by-night tech support before, and some even had suggestions. One of the most elegant simply made this point -
I'm a nice guy and I'll do someone a favour, but after a while you realise there is a point where favours end and business oppurtunities start.
This is the most important issue, the crux of this argument. It is possible for a small favour to be passed off, but the second someone becomes an imposition on our time we deserve to be reimbursed, just as with any other profession.
Solutions?
Sadly I can't say I've mastered any techniques to combat this issue. I've been told that You aren't an abusive enough member of Gen Y by a friend, and that's likely true - if I was harsher and more direct with my resentments I'm sure I wouldn't be taken advantage of - but unfortunately that's not in my nature. I'm naively nice, as are many other nerds. A sad fact of life.
I do however propose one thing in jest - a set of Creative Commons style licenses that spell out exactly to what degree a troubleshooting service shall be provided.
You are free:
- to Request Help - to be given aid, assistance or receive reference for the troubleshooting and repair of your computer
Under the following conditions:
- Reimbursement You must reimburse the troubleshooter for their time as recognition of their work.
- No Liability The troubleshooter shall attempt their best to solve the issue at hand and prevent undue complications, but should such complications arise causing damage to the system the troubleshooter is not liable, regardless of the souce of the fault.
I'll have to work on those later =]